My wife tends to display to me some quite profound wisdom in the form of simple and direct questions. And it is from one of these moments that I really gained a greater understanding of marriage, and a marital relationship. The idea of having a good marital relationship is that you know your partner better than anyone else in the world. As Pastor Jerry Solis of Riverside Church put it: Where secrets live intimacy dies, and where intimacy lives secrets die. A complete nakedness and vulnerability is vital to a good marriage. This is what my wife had got me thinking about: Am I treating my wife like my best friend?
Do you treat your wife like your best friend? I turned this question over and over in my head. I thought of my answer first, no I wasn't it. Was this biblically accurate? How could it not be, God made us into one flesh, and even though wedding vows are taken with mostly cavalier attitudes, God takes them seriously. Now in my life what would a relationship with my best friend be like? Thanks to my church, and answered prayers I've got some wonderful friends. Many of whom I feel I can speak openly with about anything, and I know they'll be there to celebrate with me when I'm happy, and support me when I'm down. Can I do that with my wife? Do I feel I can speak openly with her? What makes things worse, how does she feel? She chose to take a part in my life with me, to share in an adventure with me. How insulted does she feel? If I didn't treat her like my best friend, let alone call her my best friend, and yet she followed me out of love, how does that feel?
So I made it a point from now on, that I will treat her like my best friend in the world. Why? Because she is. When I asked her to marry me, she would have followed me to the ends of the earth and back again. I made a lot of really stupid mistakes early on in our marriage, and still do, and yet every single morning I woke up, there she was. Every time I lost my temper, she never left. Our first year together got bad, and of all the times I turned my back and walked away just hoping and praying the arguing would just disappear, she never ever left. Not only did she never leave, but she'd come looking for me to make sure I was safe.
My wife never got on the pedestal she deserved. And when I told her "I do" I promised her I'd be her best friend for life, and I never was. Guys these days have lost so much so hard thanks to all the medias prone attention to all the negativity of masculinity. It has become OK to forget our wedding vows and leave our wives behind. Kids? Kids are just a bi factor, if they get caught in the cross hairs, that's too bad, but whats a guy going to do? He's got a new woman, and a job, he has got to do what is best for himself.
"Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her..." We are not our own gentleman. We are first God's, we were bought with the price of Jesus Christ. In the same way we are to lay our lives down for our wives. If you're whining and complaining about how your case is different because your wife is never happy with you, boo hoo hoo. How many times do you fight God? How many times do you want to give up with God? Even if you deny God, His gift and promise are still there for the taking, period. Start treating your wife like your best friend, and your only beloved, because she is.
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