Monday, February 14, 2011

valentines day

Valentines 2011-
I’m not a romantic by any means whatsoever. I hear about all these inventive things men do for their wives such as leaving “I love you” post-its all over, or planning secret weekend getaways with their wives. The most romantic thing I can ever think of doing is dinner and a movie. I know I’m not the greatest father alive, but I am a good father. I know I’m not the strongest Christian, but I try to keep my faith strong. I am beginning to see though, I am far from being the husband I should be.

I spend so much time focusing on how to be a better man of God, and how to be a better father that I completely forget that there is a starving and deprived woman in my life. I am at a point where I don’t know what the best thing I can do for her is. I have a difficult enough time thinking outside the box as it is, let alone trying to figure out something loving I can do for my wife.
If you were to ask me, when I was a dating my wife, for a list of 100 things I loved about her, I would have it signed, sealed, and delivered in no more than an hour. I have tried working a list like this recently, and can’t seem to get beyond ten or twenty. I have completely broken her heart and made her feel completely unappreciated and undesired.
I know if my daughter were to marry someone who eventually tossed her aside like an old glove, I would probably be out for blood. Here was my wife, depending on me to meet her desire for love, happiness, and spontaneity, and I just don’t care. I’d prefer to wait till she got upset about never being without kids before planning a date. I’d prefer to wait until she’s so worn out and distraught before making any attempt to be a better man.
So to my wife, if and when you read this. I am sorry I have taken you for granted over the past couple years. I will remember from now on to spend equal time working on our marriage and relationship together as I spend working on being a father. I promise to love you without lacking, and meet your desires to the best of my abilities.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

the mystery is gone...or is it?

Well, all the difficulty we've had inn figuring out what our new baby is has come to an end. You can read all about it on my wife's blog here.

So, the mystery has been revealed as a little girl, and will be the final addition to this landmark Matthew family. Yes, I say the mystery is revealed, but that could not be farther from the truth. It's said in the Bible over and over again that the only thing in life that is constant is Jesus. This opens up an entire world of mystery and intrigue in our every day lives. I heard in a radio broadcast that so many people feel so empty and disappointed with their lives because of the romanticism and fantasy of books and movies. What people fail to notice is the romanticism and fantasy run free in our lives every single day. We don't know what tomorrow will bring, and our entire future is one big question mark.

I guess what I'm getting at here is that, our "mystery" baby (now known as  Talia Jewel Matthew) will be just as mysterious tomorrow as today. Who is to say who she will become? Or what she will be?

For my son, while my wife was still pregnant with him, I sang "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Every word I sang for him I meant. I want him to twinkle and spark in this life, and I do wonder what he will become. Those words ring true every single time I look at my son and daughter, and think about my daughter on the way. I'm excited to see their lives unfold, and watch them grow up to become who they were meant to be.

Talia Jewel Matthew-I love you from the bottom of my heart, little star!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Three Duties of Man

If your a guy there are most likely three rites of passage you will face.
1.) Manhood
2.) Marriage
3.) Fatherhood
Each of these carries an awesome blessing and a heavy responsibility. As I have found in my walk with Christ, everything is a balance. There is no single solution for everything, but multiple solutions and purposes that need to be handled with care and wisdom. These three passages lead us men into three incredibly important and difficult jobs, that also fill our lives with joy, and excitement. In order of importance:
1.) Christian
2.) Husband
3.) Father
In the future I plan to explore these duties in greater depth, with more study, for now we'll just get an overview of them.

I think we can all agree there is nothing more important in this life than our faith and belief in Jesus Christ, in His resurrection, and forgivness. These should be the core of every piece of our life. Beginning in my late teen years and up until almost a year ago I always questioned the validity of the Bible. Yes, there were more manuscripts of the Bible find than The Art of War, or the Qur' an, or Homers epic poems, but it never changed my idea that these books were written thousands of years ago with no printing press and retold by word of mouth. Even if the dead sea scrolls were proven to be written in the days of the early church, I still questioned how trustworthy they really were, and then a single verse put everything in perspective for me:
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,"
2 Timothy 3:16
As I meditated on this verse it became explicitly clear to me, If I believed that "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Then I had no choice but to believe EVERY scripture in the Bible was not only the truth, but it was the breath of God in written word. To deny any one single would be to deny the entire Bible including the resurrection, the birth of Jesus, even the deity and existance of God. It was then I realized I have no hope of knowing God, much less loving God if I wasn't getting inside of His breath and His word every day. As christians it should be our desire and our purpose to immerse and drown ourselves in the words of Christ and draw ourselves closer to Him and gain a deeper understanding of who He is.

Our next duty of husband paints our relationship with Christ as a more tangible picture, being commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church. This verse goes on to say, and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. So not only is it our duty serve and scrifice ourselves to our wives, her spirituality is dependant on us as well, "washing with water through the word." I heard someone on the radio once say that regardless of whether or not the head of the household is the one who sinned, he is still held responsible for the faults of his family. Adam was not the first to sin, but he stood by and did nothing while his wife was tempted, and not only did he in turn fall because she did, he was also held responsible for her actions. In Genesis 3:9 it says specifically that God called for Adam, there was no mention of Eve. Because Adam failed to step and defend his wife from evil, not only did she fall, but he fell with her, and both were punished. Because of one mans failures sin prevailed. Given the choice, would you allow sin to enter and  prevail within your family? Would you desire your wife and children to fall away?

To me personally there is not a more daunting responsibilty than the care, and well being of a brand new child that is absolutly dependant upon you for everything, and I do mean everything. These lives that have not yet had a chance to live will inevitably be created, shaped, molded and determined by how we raise, teach and discipline. They have no concept or thought of God unless we make Him a part of our families. From the day they are born as far as they know, the world revolves around them. They are born, they need to be fed, they need to be clothed. We do everything for them when they are first born, and unless careful discipline is administered they will always believe that life will serve them everything they need on a silver plater. It's the delicate balance I was talking about, we need serve them, but teach them to do it themselves at the same time. We need to be tough, but loving. It's a very difficult and fine balance that I truly believe has never yet been perfected, but if we Commit to the LORD whatever we do, and he will establish our plans.

I believe the three studies on all these jobs are going to be great, and I hope and pray they's be a blessing to all. Looking forward to the journey.