Valentines 2011-
I’m not a romantic by any means whatsoever. I hear about all these inventive things men do for their wives such as leaving “I love you” post-its all over, or planning secret weekend getaways with their wives. The most romantic thing I can ever think of doing is dinner and a movie. I know I’m not the greatest father alive, but I am a good father. I know I’m not the strongest Christian, but I try to keep my faith strong. I am beginning to see though, I am far from being the husband I should be.
I spend so much time focusing on how to be a better man of God, and how to be a better father that I completely forget that there is a starving and deprived woman in my life. I am at a point where I don’t know what the best thing I can do for her is. I have a difficult enough time thinking outside the box as it is, let alone trying to figure out something loving I can do for my wife.
If you were to ask me, when I was a dating my wife, for a list of 100 things I loved about her, I would have it signed, sealed, and delivered in no more than an hour. I have tried working a list like this recently, and can’t seem to get beyond ten or twenty. I have completely broken her heart and made her feel completely unappreciated and undesired.
I know if my daughter were to marry someone who eventually tossed her aside like an old glove, I would probably be out for blood. Here was my wife, depending on me to meet her desire for love, happiness, and spontaneity, and I just don’t care. I’d prefer to wait till she got upset about never being without kids before planning a date. I’d prefer to wait until she’s so worn out and distraught before making any attempt to be a better man.
So to my wife, if and when you read this. I am sorry I have taken you for granted over the past couple years. I will remember from now on to spend equal time working on our marriage and relationship together as I spend working on being a father. I promise to love you without lacking, and meet your desires to the best of my abilities.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
the mystery is gone...or is it?
Well, all the difficulty we've had inn figuring out what our new baby is has come to an end. You can read all about it on my wife's blog here.
So, the mystery has been revealed as a little girl, and will be the final addition to this landmark Matthew family. Yes, I say the mystery is revealed, but that could not be farther from the truth. It's said in the Bible over and over again that the only thing in life that is constant is Jesus. This opens up an entire world of mystery and intrigue in our every day lives. I heard in a radio broadcast that so many people feel so empty and disappointed with their lives because of the romanticism and fantasy of books and movies. What people fail to notice is the romanticism and fantasy run free in our lives every single day. We don't know what tomorrow will bring, and our entire future is one big question mark.
I guess what I'm getting at here is that, our "mystery" baby (now known as Talia Jewel Matthew) will be just as mysterious tomorrow as today. Who is to say who she will become? Or what she will be?
For my son, while my wife was still pregnant with him, I sang "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Every word I sang for him I meant. I want him to twinkle and spark in this life, and I do wonder what he will become. Those words ring true every single time I look at my son and daughter, and think about my daughter on the way. I'm excited to see their lives unfold, and watch them grow up to become who they were meant to be.
Talia Jewel Matthew-I love you from the bottom of my heart, little star!
So, the mystery has been revealed as a little girl, and will be the final addition to this landmark Matthew family. Yes, I say the mystery is revealed, but that could not be farther from the truth. It's said in the Bible over and over again that the only thing in life that is constant is Jesus. This opens up an entire world of mystery and intrigue in our every day lives. I heard in a radio broadcast that so many people feel so empty and disappointed with their lives because of the romanticism and fantasy of books and movies. What people fail to notice is the romanticism and fantasy run free in our lives every single day. We don't know what tomorrow will bring, and our entire future is one big question mark.
I guess what I'm getting at here is that, our "mystery" baby (now known as Talia Jewel Matthew) will be just as mysterious tomorrow as today. Who is to say who she will become? Or what she will be?
For my son, while my wife was still pregnant with him, I sang "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Every word I sang for him I meant. I want him to twinkle and spark in this life, and I do wonder what he will become. Those words ring true every single time I look at my son and daughter, and think about my daughter on the way. I'm excited to see their lives unfold, and watch them grow up to become who they were meant to be.
Talia Jewel Matthew-I love you from the bottom of my heart, little star!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Three Duties of Man
If your a guy there are most likely three rites of passage you will face.
1.) Manhood
2.) Marriage
3.) Fatherhood
Each of these carries an awesome blessing and a heavy responsibility. As I have found in my walk with Christ, everything is a balance. There is no single solution for everything, but multiple solutions and purposes that need to be handled with care and wisdom. These three passages lead us men into three incredibly important and difficult jobs, that also fill our lives with joy, and excitement. In order of importance:
1.) Christian
2.) Husband
3.) Father
In the future I plan to explore these duties in greater depth, with more study, for now we'll just get an overview of them.
I think we can all agree there is nothing more important in this life than our faith and belief in Jesus Christ, in His resurrection, and forgivness. These should be the core of every piece of our life. Beginning in my late teen years and up until almost a year ago I always questioned the validity of the Bible. Yes, there were more manuscripts of the Bible find than The Art of War, or the Qur' an, or Homers epic poems, but it never changed my idea that these books were written thousands of years ago with no printing press and retold by word of mouth. Even if the dead sea scrolls were proven to be written in the days of the early church, I still questioned how trustworthy they really were, and then a single verse put everything in perspective for me:
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,"
2 Timothy 3:16
As I meditated on this verse it became explicitly clear to me, If I believed that "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Then I had no choice but to believe EVERY scripture in the Bible was not only the truth, but it was the breath of God in written word. To deny any one single would be to deny the entire Bible including the resurrection, the birth of Jesus, even the deity and existance of God. It was then I realized I have no hope of knowing God, much less loving God if I wasn't getting inside of His breath and His word every day. As christians it should be our desire and our purpose to immerse and drown ourselves in the words of Christ and draw ourselves closer to Him and gain a deeper understanding of who He is.
Our next duty of husband paints our relationship with Christ as a more tangible picture, being commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church. This verse goes on to say, and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. So not only is it our duty serve and scrifice ourselves to our wives, her spirituality is dependant on us as well, "washing with water through the word." I heard someone on the radio once say that regardless of whether or not the head of the household is the one who sinned, he is still held responsible for the faults of his family. Adam was not the first to sin, but he stood by and did nothing while his wife was tempted, and not only did he in turn fall because she did, he was also held responsible for her actions. In Genesis 3:9 it says specifically that God called for Adam, there was no mention of Eve. Because Adam failed to step and defend his wife from evil, not only did she fall, but he fell with her, and both were punished. Because of one mans failures sin prevailed. Given the choice, would you allow sin to enter and prevail within your family? Would you desire your wife and children to fall away?
To me personally there is not a more daunting responsibilty than the care, and well being of a brand new child that is absolutly dependant upon you for everything, and I do mean everything. These lives that have not yet had a chance to live will inevitably be created, shaped, molded and determined by how we raise, teach and discipline. They have no concept or thought of God unless we make Him a part of our families. From the day they are born as far as they know, the world revolves around them. They are born, they need to be fed, they need to be clothed. We do everything for them when they are first born, and unless careful discipline is administered they will always believe that life will serve them everything they need on a silver plater. It's the delicate balance I was talking about, we need serve them, but teach them to do it themselves at the same time. We need to be tough, but loving. It's a very difficult and fine balance that I truly believe has never yet been perfected, but if we Commit to the LORD whatever we do, and he will establish our plans.
I believe the three studies on all these jobs are going to be great, and I hope and pray they's be a blessing to all. Looking forward to the journey.
1.) Manhood
2.) Marriage
3.) Fatherhood
Each of these carries an awesome blessing and a heavy responsibility. As I have found in my walk with Christ, everything is a balance. There is no single solution for everything, but multiple solutions and purposes that need to be handled with care and wisdom. These three passages lead us men into three incredibly important and difficult jobs, that also fill our lives with joy, and excitement. In order of importance:
1.) Christian
2.) Husband
3.) Father
In the future I plan to explore these duties in greater depth, with more study, for now we'll just get an overview of them.
I think we can all agree there is nothing more important in this life than our faith and belief in Jesus Christ, in His resurrection, and forgivness. These should be the core of every piece of our life. Beginning in my late teen years and up until almost a year ago I always questioned the validity of the Bible. Yes, there were more manuscripts of the Bible find than The Art of War, or the Qur' an, or Homers epic poems, but it never changed my idea that these books were written thousands of years ago with no printing press and retold by word of mouth. Even if the dead sea scrolls were proven to be written in the days of the early church, I still questioned how trustworthy they really were, and then a single verse put everything in perspective for me:
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,"
2 Timothy 3:16
As I meditated on this verse it became explicitly clear to me, If I believed that "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Then I had no choice but to believe EVERY scripture in the Bible was not only the truth, but it was the breath of God in written word. To deny any one single would be to deny the entire Bible including the resurrection, the birth of Jesus, even the deity and existance of God. It was then I realized I have no hope of knowing God, much less loving God if I wasn't getting inside of His breath and His word every day. As christians it should be our desire and our purpose to immerse and drown ourselves in the words of Christ and draw ourselves closer to Him and gain a deeper understanding of who He is.
Our next duty of husband paints our relationship with Christ as a more tangible picture, being commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church. This verse goes on to say, and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. So not only is it our duty serve and scrifice ourselves to our wives, her spirituality is dependant on us as well, "washing with water through the word." I heard someone on the radio once say that regardless of whether or not the head of the household is the one who sinned, he is still held responsible for the faults of his family. Adam was not the first to sin, but he stood by and did nothing while his wife was tempted, and not only did he in turn fall because she did, he was also held responsible for her actions. In Genesis 3:9 it says specifically that God called for Adam, there was no mention of Eve. Because Adam failed to step and defend his wife from evil, not only did she fall, but he fell with her, and both were punished. Because of one mans failures sin prevailed. Given the choice, would you allow sin to enter and prevail within your family? Would you desire your wife and children to fall away?
To me personally there is not a more daunting responsibilty than the care, and well being of a brand new child that is absolutly dependant upon you for everything, and I do mean everything. These lives that have not yet had a chance to live will inevitably be created, shaped, molded and determined by how we raise, teach and discipline. They have no concept or thought of God unless we make Him a part of our families. From the day they are born as far as they know, the world revolves around them. They are born, they need to be fed, they need to be clothed. We do everything for them when they are first born, and unless careful discipline is administered they will always believe that life will serve them everything they need on a silver plater. It's the delicate balance I was talking about, we need serve them, but teach them to do it themselves at the same time. We need to be tough, but loving. It's a very difficult and fine balance that I truly believe has never yet been perfected, but if we Commit to the LORD whatever we do, and he will establish our plans.
I believe the three studies on all these jobs are going to be great, and I hope and pray they's be a blessing to all. Looking forward to the journey.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Ok, this is some crazy idea I got the other day and I just jumped on it. It is the beginning of a story, don't know how long it will be. Not sure how often I'll work on it. Hopefully this portion I am sharing will leave you in mystery. Hopefully you will thoroughly enjoy it. Hopefully you will want to hear more, if not just say so and I'll forget it. Here it is:
Desolate. Destroyed. The words pounded through my head. My eyes closed, and head heavy. I start shaking my head and rub my eyes to take out the sleep. I’m not on a bed. This is hard. Uncomfortable. I sit up and realize it’s a wooden bench. I look ahead and see a sea of blank stares and hollow bodies. To my right and left are endless rows of more benches, more people waking up from sleep. I look at my hands, feel my face, touch my legs. Everything is surreal. I am wearing a grey, three-button suit, a white shirt, and red necktie. My memory is gone. I remember nothing of yesterday, nothing of how I got here, nothing of where I am. Empty faces stare ahead. Expectant, and yet drained. I stand up and automatically understand their perceptions and feelings. As I stood my heart and chest remained. I feel them leaving my body and staying behind. My emotions are torn from my body, and there is no reason to stay behind. I walk forward creating another head in the mass, waiting for my journey to continue. Behind me I can hear yet another person awake and pull himself from the bench. Him, like me, will just become another blank stare.
I don’t know if hours passed, or days, or weeks. A flash of silver roared and howled in front of us and came to a grinding halt. We all march on board the train silently, in a neat single file. There is no rush, but there is no reason to delay. Inside the corridor is a rich golden light. A man in a black suit, shirt, and tie awaits me.
“May I show you to your compartment sir?”
I cannot speak, but nod my head for there is no reason to do otherwise. The man in the black uniform leads me down the golden corridor. All the people that have entered the train before have seemed to disappear. There is no other person in sight. He leads me into a compartment. It is extremely large. The size of a house itself, but I take no wonder that there is no possibility this could actually fit inside the train. The room is filled with the same golden light that filled the corridor, only much more brilliant and shining. The roof extends nearly 40 feet above my head. A long winding staircase led up to a balcony that surrounded the compartment, and led to other rooms. The man in black turned to look at me.
“You will be residing here until you reach an understanding. A restaurant and lounge can be found in the next car. You will find the food satisfactory. When I leave you shall be able to speak yet again and you can feel free to speak with anyone wish.”
He turns to leave and exits out the door. As he does I feel my mouth and my tongue loosen as though suddenly becoming unknotted, though I was unaware I was incapable of speech. My mind immediately draws me to the lounge and restaurant. I feel empty and in need of another human being. I walk towards the next car.
Desolate. Destroyed. The words pounded through my head. My eyes closed, and head heavy. I start shaking my head and rub my eyes to take out the sleep. I’m not on a bed. This is hard. Uncomfortable. I sit up and realize it’s a wooden bench. I look ahead and see a sea of blank stares and hollow bodies. To my right and left are endless rows of more benches, more people waking up from sleep. I look at my hands, feel my face, touch my legs. Everything is surreal. I am wearing a grey, three-button suit, a white shirt, and red necktie. My memory is gone. I remember nothing of yesterday, nothing of how I got here, nothing of where I am. Empty faces stare ahead. Expectant, and yet drained. I stand up and automatically understand their perceptions and feelings. As I stood my heart and chest remained. I feel them leaving my body and staying behind. My emotions are torn from my body, and there is no reason to stay behind. I walk forward creating another head in the mass, waiting for my journey to continue. Behind me I can hear yet another person awake and pull himself from the bench. Him, like me, will just become another blank stare.
I don’t know if hours passed, or days, or weeks. A flash of silver roared and howled in front of us and came to a grinding halt. We all march on board the train silently, in a neat single file. There is no rush, but there is no reason to delay. Inside the corridor is a rich golden light. A man in a black suit, shirt, and tie awaits me.
“May I show you to your compartment sir?”
I cannot speak, but nod my head for there is no reason to do otherwise. The man in the black uniform leads me down the golden corridor. All the people that have entered the train before have seemed to disappear. There is no other person in sight. He leads me into a compartment. It is extremely large. The size of a house itself, but I take no wonder that there is no possibility this could actually fit inside the train. The room is filled with the same golden light that filled the corridor, only much more brilliant and shining. The roof extends nearly 40 feet above my head. A long winding staircase led up to a balcony that surrounded the compartment, and led to other rooms. The man in black turned to look at me.
“You will be residing here until you reach an understanding. A restaurant and lounge can be found in the next car. You will find the food satisfactory. When I leave you shall be able to speak yet again and you can feel free to speak with anyone wish.”
He turns to leave and exits out the door. As he does I feel my mouth and my tongue loosen as though suddenly becoming unknotted, though I was unaware I was incapable of speech. My mind immediately draws me to the lounge and restaurant. I feel empty and in need of another human being. I walk towards the next car.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Men and Marriage
Today's is pretty simple guys. I listened to a message today revolving on this theme of men and their families.
There is nothing that can be added to what is said in the following link, neither can it be summerized in a few paragraphs. please take an hour and listen to this message.
There is nothing that can be added to what is said in the following link, neither can it be summerized in a few paragraphs. please take an hour and listen to this message.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
ME ME ME!!!
Ok, so I just cannot take it anymore. The world boils down to two types of people, those who live selfishly and those who try to live selflessly. Notice I say TRY to live selflessly, because thanks to a little serpent with a huge ego we are now all inherently slaves to sin, unrighteous, ungrateful, unworthy, selfish pigs. It is by God, and through Jesus that we as christians do our best to live selflessly, or should do our best. As my pastor mentioned this evening some form of the word "give" is used 2162 times in the bible. If we are constantly feeding ourselves and holding ourselves inside and not out pouring, what good is that?
This was brought on a few moments ago while reading reviews for a book by C.S. Lewis. I noticed there were a few 1 star reviews of a particular book. Thinking "Who would possibly give C.S. Lewis a one star review?" I had to read. A particular reviewer put that he was leaning towards atheism because there is no hard proof for an afterlife, and stated that christians believe heaven is a place of infinate time and no pain, and no sorrow. This was correct, but he went on to decide that this couldn't be true because in a nutshell he couldn't fathom it.
There is a particular TV show that I like to watch, but it unfortunately spreads a message of selfishiness. Characters are constantly talking about how they have been wronged by others, and our being taught that the only thing they need to be happy is to live for themselves and not care about anyone else. THIS IS TERRIBLE!
Please don't think I see myself as a perfect selfless human being. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm incredibly selfminded. Just ask my wife how many times I lose track of my family because I'm thinking of myself. But, I do try to make it a point to cut my own wants and desires down to meet the needs of others.
I have this perfect picture in my head of what selfishness and selflessness do to people that I wish I could draw, but alas, my sisters got the drawing gift, not me, so I'll try to explain it. Picture, if you will, two people talking to eachother. They begin talking relationally on a personal level. Now if either one of these people start to just say "me, me, me, me, I, I, I..." Everything being said goes directly back to them. If both people talk this way there is absolutly no connection. On the other hand if the talking changed from "what I want" to "what do you want" that goes forward to the other person, and if both people talked that way, a bond can form because it's no longer inward, it is outward. I hope that makes sense.
Bottom line, God created us for unity, not division, and by being selfish, and inward all the time, nothing can flow out of you to bless or minister to others. Selfishness is a disease, let's find a cure.
This was brought on a few moments ago while reading reviews for a book by C.S. Lewis. I noticed there were a few 1 star reviews of a particular book. Thinking "Who would possibly give C.S. Lewis a one star review?" I had to read. A particular reviewer put that he was leaning towards atheism because there is no hard proof for an afterlife, and stated that christians believe heaven is a place of infinate time and no pain, and no sorrow. This was correct, but he went on to decide that this couldn't be true because in a nutshell he couldn't fathom it.
There is a particular TV show that I like to watch, but it unfortunately spreads a message of selfishiness. Characters are constantly talking about how they have been wronged by others, and our being taught that the only thing they need to be happy is to live for themselves and not care about anyone else. THIS IS TERRIBLE!
Please don't think I see myself as a perfect selfless human being. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm incredibly selfminded. Just ask my wife how many times I lose track of my family because I'm thinking of myself. But, I do try to make it a point to cut my own wants and desires down to meet the needs of others.
I have this perfect picture in my head of what selfishness and selflessness do to people that I wish I could draw, but alas, my sisters got the drawing gift, not me, so I'll try to explain it. Picture, if you will, two people talking to eachother. They begin talking relationally on a personal level. Now if either one of these people start to just say "me, me, me, me, I, I, I..." Everything being said goes directly back to them. If both people talk this way there is absolutly no connection. On the other hand if the talking changed from "what I want" to "what do you want" that goes forward to the other person, and if both people talked that way, a bond can form because it's no longer inward, it is outward. I hope that makes sense.
Bottom line, God created us for unity, not division, and by being selfish, and inward all the time, nothing can flow out of you to bless or minister to others. Selfishness is a disease, let's find a cure.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
driven
First thing is first. God created you. Jesus died for you. God requires no less than absolute praise and devotion. So yet again, another song. This is an absolutely fantastic song by a brilliant worship leader, Jared Anderson. Again, just get quiet focus on the lyrics and make them personal for you. The song is prime example of devotion and worship. Use it that way.
I listened to a message the other day by a terrific speaker, Pastor Mark Driscoll. He was doing a sermon on masculinity and men. He brought up one particular trait that all men have in common, no matter what. Men love to build and to cultivate. There is nothing more satisfying for a guy to get something together and then continuously work on it and tweak it so that it just gets better and better. For a lot of guys, it's cars. Faster is never fast enough, not to mention all the care given to make sure it runs as perfectly as it can. For some of my friends I had in high school it was all about computers. They needed more memory, more power, faster modems. For me personally, I play bass, and I am not content with where I am. I want to drive myself to play better, faster, more precise. It's just who we are. But are we leaving anyone in the dust?
Where are our families? God called us to be the leaders of our family. This title as I've mentioned before has been majorly abused. This does not involve emotional, physical, or psychological abuse. Any man who hits, mocks, or disrespects a woman or child is no man at all! Being the leader does not involve forcing your power and authority on your wife and/or kids. When Jesus came to earth as a man He did not force His presence in the court of Ceaser Augustas and demand his loyalty and respect. That probably would have gotten Him a spear or two. No, Jesus came as a servant. To make His point, Jesus bent at the feet of his disciples and washed their feet. This was a point God showed to me a couple years ago. The greatest way to teach, and to lead is by example, moreover by Jesus' example. If we can cut our pride down, and serve our wives, will we in turn gain their respect? If we make it a point to display love for our wives, will they not be so moved in their hearts, they will love us as well?
Back to building and cultivating. Men love their hobbies, that is a universal truth. I love playing bass, others love cars, computers, in the case of my brother in law, comedy. I asked a little bit ago, who gets left in the dust? Hopefully no one. If you are married and/or have kids it is your God-given blessing and duty to build up, and cultivate your family. Fathers, your kids desperately need love and support, as much as they can get. Husbands, your wives desperately need to be loved and cared for. In the movie Fireproof one of the firemen put it this way, "A woman is like a rose, if you care for her she'll, if not she'll wilt." Truer words were never spoken. You cannot expect to be respected without respecting others, and you cannot expect to be loved without loving others. If you care for your family, you will give them what they need, love, encouragment, (in the case of chrildren) discipline. Your family will never love you, or respect you, if you ignore them and play with your toys all day. And you can't expect them to love you or respect you, if you do not show them the same tokens.
If you have trouble or think you have trouble with wisdom and discernment in the boundries of discpline, I strongly encourage you to read from the book of Proverbs every single day. The easiest way to do this read the chapter corresponding with the date. For example, today is the 23rd, so read Proverbs chapter 23. They are all fairly short and simple to read, and you will be blessed by them.
I listened to a message the other day by a terrific speaker, Pastor Mark Driscoll. He was doing a sermon on masculinity and men. He brought up one particular trait that all men have in common, no matter what. Men love to build and to cultivate. There is nothing more satisfying for a guy to get something together and then continuously work on it and tweak it so that it just gets better and better. For a lot of guys, it's cars. Faster is never fast enough, not to mention all the care given to make sure it runs as perfectly as it can. For some of my friends I had in high school it was all about computers. They needed more memory, more power, faster modems. For me personally, I play bass, and I am not content with where I am. I want to drive myself to play better, faster, more precise. It's just who we are. But are we leaving anyone in the dust?
Where are our families? God called us to be the leaders of our family. This title as I've mentioned before has been majorly abused. This does not involve emotional, physical, or psychological abuse. Any man who hits, mocks, or disrespects a woman or child is no man at all! Being the leader does not involve forcing your power and authority on your wife and/or kids. When Jesus came to earth as a man He did not force His presence in the court of Ceaser Augustas and demand his loyalty and respect. That probably would have gotten Him a spear or two. No, Jesus came as a servant. To make His point, Jesus bent at the feet of his disciples and washed their feet. This was a point God showed to me a couple years ago. The greatest way to teach, and to lead is by example, moreover by Jesus' example. If we can cut our pride down, and serve our wives, will we in turn gain their respect? If we make it a point to display love for our wives, will they not be so moved in their hearts, they will love us as well?
Back to building and cultivating. Men love their hobbies, that is a universal truth. I love playing bass, others love cars, computers, in the case of my brother in law, comedy. I asked a little bit ago, who gets left in the dust? Hopefully no one. If you are married and/or have kids it is your God-given blessing and duty to build up, and cultivate your family. Fathers, your kids desperately need love and support, as much as they can get. Husbands, your wives desperately need to be loved and cared for. In the movie Fireproof one of the firemen put it this way, "A woman is like a rose, if you care for her she'll, if not she'll wilt." Truer words were never spoken. You cannot expect to be respected without respecting others, and you cannot expect to be loved without loving others. If you care for your family, you will give them what they need, love, encouragment, (in the case of chrildren) discipline. Your family will never love you, or respect you, if you ignore them and play with your toys all day. And you can't expect them to love you or respect you, if you do not show them the same tokens.
If you have trouble or think you have trouble with wisdom and discernment in the boundries of discpline, I strongly encourage you to read from the book of Proverbs every single day. The easiest way to do this read the chapter corresponding with the date. For example, today is the 23rd, so read Proverbs chapter 23. They are all fairly short and simple to read, and you will be blessed by them.
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